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A lot of people have a misconception about what positivity means.

There is one group that says that positivity is a denial of reality. That it’s not being realistic. They’re in denial of reality because they’re not looking at all the facts and they’re not looking at things realistically. When things are down and terrible they’re not accepting circumstances as they are. They’re pretending that everything is okay when it’s certainly not.

Then you have the negative group. They are focused on how terrible circumstances are. This group is just as much out of alignment with reality, but it’s the one that proclaims more than anything that it’s “just being realistic.”

Your perceptions are a filter for reality

There’s a common misconception about the way positive and negative mindsets are viewed. Most people tend to think that their positive or negative attitude is just them perceiving the way reality is. It’s the way they see things. In other words, whatever your circumstances are, you are perceiving it as good or bad.

This is absolutely true; your perceptions are your filter for the world. It isn’t that you’re simply perceiving reality as it is though. Your underlying beliefs about reality that are causing you to interpret things in a negative or positive way. You may think because you see the world a certain way, that’s the way the world is. But that’s just your mental map, it’s not necessarily the terrain itself.

In other words, your perception or how you believe reality to be is actually your response. Reality itself is neither good nor bad, right or wrong, righteous or evil.

It’s our perception, judgment and beliefs that cause us to see things the way we do.

Accepting what is

When we realize that the way we perceive reality, is a personal opinion, we can learn to accept it the way it is. With this acceptance we’re no longer struggling against it. Sure, we can always respond, but we don’t try to deny our current situation.

If the nature of our reality is determined by our response, then it just becomes common sense to respond in a positive way. That doesn’t mean we deny the way we currently see things. We accept it as it is, then we respond. We accept what is because it’s silly to struggle against what already is. It’s already here, why try to struggle against it? Sure, we can intend something different. Life naturally become a lot easily when we accept the present moment.

Realizing that positivity is a response, has been a big step for me in my personal growth. Before, I would always looked at people with a positive or negative mindset as being in denial. Those with a positive outlook would commonly say they were just “looking on the bright side.” Those with a negative mindset claimed they were just “accepting the truth.”

Choosing win/win

The fact of the matter is, we don’t have to choose one or the other. We can choose a win/win situation. We can accept the truth, the current state of things and choose to look on the bright side, having a positive response.

Are you choosing lose/lose or win/lose agreements in your life? Perhaps you don’t realize that you’re choosing them because you think that’s the only option. I think most often in these cases there’s some overlooked variable that we haven’t yet discovered. My challenge to you is, don’t accept second best. Choose not to make an agreement with yourself where you feel one part of you wins and the other is let down. Choose not to settle until you can find a win/win answer, or don’t settle at all.

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Recently I’ve got caught up in the habit of over-engineering my life. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to be the most productive.

How can I make the best use of my time, what systems can I use to get things done faster, better, more efficiently? What can I do to stop procrastinating and start taking action? All of these are very valid questions and each of them has some merit to them.

But how often do we over-think things, over-analyze, and over-everything. Evaluation can be a great tool, it can help us figure out where our time is going and what things we need to change to make better use of our time. But I’d like to suggest a different approach.

Instead of looking at things from an outside-in approach. Instead of trying to tool and engineer our lives to yield a greater benefit, I think we can yield a much greater benefit by using an inside-out approach.

If we use our heart as our compass, and our conscience as our guide (jiminy cricket anyone?) we will naturally become motivated. If we find out what our passions are and strive to work towards a more heart-centered and emotionally fulfilling goal, the outer system will take care of itself. We won’t need productivity systems and widgets to accomplish our goals, because we will be internally driven.

How else can we apply this inside-out approach to accomplishing our goals?

Well the outside-in approach would tell you to gain more resources, more money, connections, assets, etc. This is a backward approach.

If we are constantly working on gaining more outer resources before we move to take action, we are neglecting the very source from which these resources will be gained. That source of course is our inner resources. These are our knowledge, our skills, principles, values, emotional balance, creativity, and social skills.

When we shift our focus to developing our inner resources there may be some downtime before we see the pay-off in acquisition of outer resources. It may take some time to develop greater skills and competencies. But now we’re working toward long-term secure gains instead of short high-risk payoffs.

Not only does shifting our focus from an outside-in to an inside-out approach yield us greater long term resources and security, it also has some bonus side effects. When we develop our inner resources we become more confident, self-aware, and gain inner security. We know that no matter what happens to our external circumstances, we can always fall back on our internal resources. We also realize that what is inside is more important then what is on the outside. Because of this we become more centered.

Take a look at your life, in what areas are do you have an imbalance? Are you waiting for all the right circumstances and resources before you take action?
Or do you rely on your internal resources, your personal competencies and strengths to create the circumstances that you desire? Perhaps the real lesson is that the more we take action in our lives, the more we stretch and build those internal strengths, the more power we gain in our lives.

The more we take control of our lives instead of surrendering to whatever happens to us, the more power we gain over our lives and the more freedom we find.

We realize that the freedom was with us all along, not to be found somewhere outside of us, but within.

Further reading: Goalless living? What would it be like to live without goals?

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When it comes to accomplishing goals and getting things done one of the most common topics is naturally motivation. The more motivation we have, the more drive we’ll have to get things done and accomplish our goals. It seems there are two schools of thought on motivation for Getting Things Done.

School 1: Get organized, discipline yourself, make to-do lists and action plans. This is the school of thought that says, eliminate, delegate or do it. It’s philosophy says, stay disciplined and have a direct plan, do whatever it takes to accomplish your goals. We’ll refer to this school as the “Outer school.”

School 2: Follow your intuition and listen to your deep inner desires. Structures and rules aren’t necessary if you’re following your passion. If you need to force yourself to do something, something is wrong. We’ll call this the “Inner school.”

Now most people would naturally think there’s a conflict between these two schools. One is a very cerebral, left brained based thinking while the other is a more creative and “free-spirit” based approach. I however think that these two schools of thought aren’t necessarily at odds with each other, it’s just that they’re interpreted and applied incorrectly. If we try to approach our goals simply from a “get things done” and completing action plans, we’ll lack inspiration. In the same way, if we try to accomplish our goals simply by following our passions and our hearts desire, we’ll likely lack direction and a clear focus.

We need to create a balance between these two approaches. We need to have motivation and a structured idea of how we’re going to accomplish our goals. The key here is that these two schools of thought are not naturally competing with each other. We need discipline and structure to get things done. But we also need motivation and inspiration so we remember the reason for all our hard work.

Here’s an example of how I’ve implemented these two schools of thought co-operatively when working on my blog.

Outer Motivation: I need to accomplish promoting my blog, writing articles, creating networks with other bloggers and etc. By using a task list and items that I must complete for the day I can stay on track and keep moving forward. Using the outer school of thought, I’m also able to eliminate needless tasks such as checking email too often, and other distractions. My plan helps me stay focused.

Inner Motivation: Without inner motivation I’m likely to become apathetic and wonder why I’m putting forth all this effort to accomplish my goals. This is why I write down the reasons for doing each task that I work on. I need to feel inspired and remember why I’m striving to accomplish these goals, I remember that my mission and goal is to help and inspire other, to share with them what I’ve learned and use this blog as a means to become financially independent.

Here are a few ways to easily implement a more synergistic approach to your goals, combining inner and outer schools of thought.

1. Create an action list, make an objective to complete your 3 most important tasks (MIT’s) for the day. This will be your outer motivation.
2. After each task, write down the reason for this task. What is your inner motivation?
3. At the end of your to do list make a reminder of the reasons why you’re doing what you’re doing. I might have an action of sending 10 emails to blog owners to make networking contacts, commenting on 20 blog posts and make 10 posts in a personal development forum. By themselves these are just actions. If I write my end goal (the reason for my marketing efforts) of creating an audience to inspire and motivate others to personal growth, I remember the reasons for my actions. This helps me stay focused.
4. Realize that different approaches may work for different situations. Where a disciplined and structured approach may work for one thing, an intuitive and emotional approach may work for something else.
5. Use your gut to determine what approach will work best for different situations, or if a combination of both would be best.

Simply because you follow your passions doesn’t mean there won’t be hard work to reach your goals. That’s where structure and organization needs to be applied. But without serious emotional motivation you’ll easily become bored and apathetic. I believe there’s place for each approach and can work well when balanced correctly. I wish you all the best in achieving your goals!

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photo by carf

This is a sequel to my original post on 33 of Life’s Most Powerful Lessons. These are personally the most powerful lessons I have learned in my life. You might ask why I chose to make a list like this, instead of writing articles to elaborate on each one. While I do believe there is a place for this, I believe sometimes more is said, when you say less.

I hope you enjoy these lessons, they are a little window into my soul of teachings that have changed my life. Everyone has their own truth though and what is true for me may not be true for you. I encourage you to share your own most powerful lessons with us in the comments below. =) Read more

photo by carf

Have you ever had an epiphany? One of those “a-ha” moments where something just clicks for you? Maybe it’s something you’ve been struggling with for a long time, or maybe it was a piece of advice you learned from a friend. Whatever the source of our insight, it’s these moments that bring us to a deeper understanding of our world. The better understanding we have of life, the more we live in the truth.

Below are 33 of the most powerful lessons in my life. I encourage you to share yours with us by leaving a comment below. =) Read more