I too like the relationship comparison here. Anything our life that is not how we want it, but persists anyway has obviously become a crutch to lean on, something we’re too scared to face and deal with and then move on. Unfortunately it is not uncommon for relationships to be this way too.

I spent 18 months in a violent, emotionally abusive relationship when I was younger because I couldn’t reconcile what my life had become with the strong woman I thought I was. My boyfriend had been my Prince Charming for 2 years until he lost his job and his mind. And though I knew I should leave him, I just couldn’t let go of my dreams of happy ever afters and move forward with my life. I was fixated on how can I make him stop hurting me, when I should have been thinking how can I protect myself and find the relationship I deserve?

And I have seen this same confusion and unwillingness to accept reality and move through the uncertainty of change in breaking bad habits too. Smoking – had to get pneumonia twice in 6 months to quit that. Compulsive eating when I am stressed – still struggle with that one, though have made real progress. For me, number 5 is the hard one. I get to the point of being ready for change, but the transition is so uncomfortable that I revert back to my old ways.

But if first you do not succeed, try, try again. Or so they say.

Great article.

Kelly

Great article. I’m big fan of metaphors and you’ve used them quite effectively in this article. It’s beautifully written. This article applies to the marital relationship as well.

Shilpan