SubscribeThe “IT” Factor: What Tito Ortiz and Johnny Cash Have That You Don’t
Your first time here? If you like what you see, consider subscribing by RSS or email (it's free!) Thanks for stopping by! -Jonathan
photo by livenature
What do Johnny Cash and Tito Ortiz have in common? They have the elusive “IT” factor. There’s just something about them that naturally draws people to them. They’re magnetic, enigmatic, and charismatic (and any other kinds of matics). Something just makes you want to know them, be like them and follow them.
Imagine you walk into an elevator; everyones greets you. Everyone seems to be paying attention to you, looking at you and wondering what you’re doing.
When you get off the elevator you go into an important meeting. When you walk in, everyone at the table stands up to greet you and or shake your hand. During the meeting, you’re constantly asked for your opinion. “What do you think about this?” they ask. “How do you feel about the direction we’re going in, what could we do differently?”
As you leave everyone wants to talk to you. They smile and wait patiently for their turn. You’re cool and collected while they vie for your attention.
Imagine you walk out of the building and a hail a taxi, but instead a limo pulls up. You go to your favorite restaurant around the corner, and your table is already reserved. Hell, when you go to sleep, your butler would try to brush your teeth if you didn’t insist that it wasn’t necessary.
That’s what it’s like to have the “it” factor. Your confidence and assurance seem to make people gravitate toward you. You don’t think much of it, because that’s just they way you are. It’s how you’ve always been.
Some people seem to just be born with an “it” factor. The legend Muhammed Ali certainly had it. Einstein had it. Johnny Cash had it. Oprah certainly has it. While this doesn’t necessarily mean everyone likes you, it does mean people are talking about you. They pay attention.
I think some people are born with the “it” factor, but I think it’s something that can be learned as well.
So what is “it”? What makes these people so enigmatic?
I’ve found that people with the “it” factor have some common characteristics:
- They accept their magnetism. People with the it factor fully accept their identity as a charismatic enigma. They know that being an enigmatic person means that some people will like them, while others won’t. That’s just part of being in the spotlight.
- They’re authentic. While a lot of people with the it factor may seem to exaggerate and stretch things a bit; that’s simply a part of being who they are. The ones that people really look up to - such as Einstein, Oprah, Gandhi, Lincoln, Thoreau, etc - tend to be more authentic. They accept their position and don’t let other peoples criticism and negativity effect their character. They are unabashedly authentic and willing to accept the price that comes with it.
- They’re compelling. Their authenticity and fearless acceptance of their identity makes them compelling. They are not timid ego, but big egos. People are naturally drawn to them because they are so rooted, so sure of what they believe in. It’s not necessarily that their beliefs are compelling, but the amount of faith behind them that makes them alluring.
- They’re not afraid to step outside the box. Their unshakable acceptance of themselves makes them comfortable stepping outside of the box, beyond social norms. Popular opinion doesn’t matter much to them. They know that sometimes controversy is a good thing. It makes people think.
- They are confident. Above all, those with the “it” factor are confident. They rarely question themselves, having an almost abnormal amount of self assurance. Sometimes people can confuse this unusual amount of confidence with egotism. But they simply know who they are and what they want, and are unwilling to compromise that at any cost.
- They have the ability to connect. Despite their seeming egotism and sometimes off-putting amount of self-assurance, people with “it” know how to connect. Their confidence and charisma inspires others to live to their fullest potential.
Some people may be born with the elusive “it factor.” But I think many of these traits can be practiced and learned.
Here are some suggestions to boost your charisma:
- Let go of unnecessary fear. If you want to be enigmatic, you’re going to have to drop all unrational fear. That doesn’t mean you won’t get scared if someone comes at you with a knife. It just means if your life isn’t in any real or perceived danger, you don’t flinch.
- Be yourself. It sounds overly simplified: “just be yourself!” Most people though, try to put on a facade that they’re something they’re not. People with the “it” factor, really don’t care what other people think. Try to practicing not giving a shit what other people think. Trust me, it’s refreshing.
- Go for broke. Have the courage to only do what you love and what makes you feel most alive. If you love it, you’ll naturally be enthusiastic about it. Even if you’re not that great, your enthusiasm will attract peoples attention.
- Don’t be afraid to be controversial. Don’t be afraid to say what other people are afraid to say, or do what most people want to do, but are afraid to. Don’t be afraid to be controversial, but don’t just do it intentionally. Controversy gets people thinking, and that’s a good thing.
- Be personal. The ability to get personal and be authentic with people is the ability to connect. The more you can connect deeply with others, the more you can gain their trust and leverage it.
- Live unabashedly. Have you ever noticed how many people are willing to follow another person just because they seem 100% sure of what they’re doing. If you communicate confidence, you’ll naturally get peoples attention.
Developing magnetism and charisma is something I think anyone could benefit from.
After all, I think there’s room for another Johnny Cash or two in the world.
Get more of “it” by subscribing to Illuminated Mind.
Have my articles helped (or at least entertained) you in some way? Click here to buy me a coffee.Other articles you might enjoy:
Subscribe by email:
20 Comments so far
Leave a reply
Loading ...
You’ve totally got the “IT” factor, Babe. & you’re so much more handsome than Tito or Johnny Cash!
Thanks for revealing your tricks. ;]
♥♥♥
I like this article.
I feel the most important aspects of this are to accept who you are — and to accept the attraction that you sense from others.
If you own it you can nurture it and enjoy it.
John
Interesting. I still think that you are either born with IT or not… but I guess that just like a sense of style, some aspects of IT can be learned. Thank you for an interesting thought!
@ John: Exactly. I think acceptance and remaining authentic is #1 before you try personality tactics.
@ apricot: Thanks Babe. =)
Hey Jonathan,
A nice one!
I would say, “Deeply know who you are and everything else will just fall in to its right place–magnetism, charisma, fan following, etc., etc.,”
Stumbled it!
-Desika
I had no idea that Johnny Cash had a porn-star for a wife!
Hmm, interesting. I would add to the list “doing what they are meant to do.” People who do what their passionate about have charisma. They seem extra alive. The people you mentioned are all doing what they love to do (I imagine — I don’t know for sure, of course). I don’t know if Oprah would be who she is if she was a day care teacher or if she stuck to being just an actress.
But all that said, I think charisma is something that comes as a byproduct of your inner security and congruency. It feels funny to me to say “let’s become charismatic.” I certainly agree with you that charisma can be acquired, though.
ari
I think people with “it” have a larger energy reserve than other people. Life attracts life, so others are naturally drawn to them. You can become more charismatic by increasing your own energy. Nice article.
I see you’ve got a BIG fan in the lovely wife of yours!
I don’t quite agree with Vered though. I believe that the IT can be learnt, acquired and developed. Boosting up one’s self confidence alone can already boost the IT factor several times!
Evelyn
I think you’re onto something with the idea that more you let go of expectations and fear, the more intriguing and magnetic you are. Definitely goes along with my theory that the more you get rid of, the more you end up with.
Oh, and the Man in Black rules. Great person to highlight!
“Some people may be born with the elusive “it factor.” But I think many of these traits can be practiced and learned.”
Definitely the “it factor” can be developed, but most people think that you are either born with it or not. If not, thank god that we can develop it :)
Good job pointing this one out because there are many people who wants to communicate and socialize but believes that they are born unable to make friends easily.
Big fan of both of these men. One thing not mentioned about the ‘it’ factor is that these people don’t live to please US. They live to please ‘them’. They do not care what we think, say, or how we think they are supposed to act. They simply live through the only way they know how…their own instincts.
If we tried to be ourselves a little more each day, we may eventually find the same magnetism affect works for us.
http://www.YinVsYang.com
Ohmygod, I’m an “IT girl”. :-) Learned, not born with…
I like the girl standing next to Tito Ortiz, she seems sweet and wholesome ^_^
I think you are what you think you are. (meaning that if you think highly of yourself, others will notice as it portrays in all of your actions)
Good read, Dugg!
[...] The “IT” Factor: What Tito Ortiz and Johnny Cash Have That You Don’t @ Illuminated Mind [...]
true words. But does success breed this confidence, or vice versa?
The depth of your conviction certainly is more important that the height of your knowledge… believing yourself is the hard part.
Actually I think it takes some faith and self confidence to reach that level of success, and then once people like Tito Ortiz get their, it’s like a big cosmic YES that just reiterates that cocky “it” persona.
Good stuff though. It kept me thinking for awhile.
[...] Illuminated Mind: Get the IT factor and shoot for the moon. After all, “even if you don’t make it, you’ll still be among the stars.” Take these tips from Johny Cash and Tito Ortiz. [...]