Comments on: The Four Secrets to a (nearly) Perfect Relationship http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/ Live on Your Own Terms Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:33:51 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: The Four Secrets to a Perfect Relationship | Evan's Blog http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-30110 The Four Secrets to a Perfect Relationship | Evan's Blog Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:07:49 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-30110 [...] [...] [...] [...]

]]> By: dan http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-7534 dan Mon, 02 Mar 2009 12:24:15 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-7534 i split with my girlfriend of 3 years the other day but we are back together now i seriously thought that we were over for good and i couldn't understand why. we talked it over and we are ok now and its all because things built up in our relationship and didn't talk things out and when i think about it its all because point 4 (Don’t make assumptions, don’t take things personally) got me...... i took things to personally and i also expected my partner to know how i was feeling even though i never told her and thought she knew things important that i didn't which is stupid....... this article has given me a better angle on our relationship iv never not been the best i could for my partner but if you are missing important points in a relationship then you have to sort them or it wont work, you both have to work at the relationship equally because its give and take. i just have to accept what is and love that. thanx i split with my girlfriend of 3 years the other day but we are back together now i seriously thought that we were over for good and i couldn’t understand why. we talked it over and we are ok now and its all because things built up in our relationship and didn’t talk things out and when i think about it its all because point 4 (Don’t make assumptions, don’t take things personally) got me…… i took things to personally and i also expected my partner to know how i was feeling even though i never told her and thought she knew things important that i didn’t which is stupid……. this article has given me a better angle on our relationship iv never not been the best i could for my partner but if you are missing important points in a relationship then you have to sort them or it wont work, you both have to work at the relationship equally because its give and take.

i just have to accept what is and love that.

thanx

]]> By: Tippy http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-5668 Tippy Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:42:44 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-5668 Such good advice, so hard to swallow. what if your love doesn't treat you like a dog? What if your partner doesn't accept you as you are, but is constantly trying to change you to fit their visual criteria, slowly helping you to dislike yourself? What if you love them but are tired and confused? What if they're a great person, but they make you dislike yourself and resent them? What if your gut says you maybe should leave but your heart is up in the air? What if you love them? Such good advice, so hard to swallow.

what if your love doesn’t treat you like a dog? What if your partner doesn’t accept you as you are, but is constantly trying to change you to fit their visual criteria, slowly helping you to dislike yourself? What if you love them but are tired and confused? What if they’re a great person, but they make you dislike yourself and resent them? What if your gut says you maybe should leave but your heart is up in the air? What if you love them?

]]> By: Puleen http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-5327 Puleen Sun, 21 Dec 2008 05:40:44 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-5327 Nobody is perfect. Imperfection in itself is perfection. Certain imperfections in our partners are what make them unique and different. Learning to like these imperfections is the key to a strong and successful relationships. Thank you for this great article. Cheers! Nobody is perfect. Imperfection in itself is perfection. Certain imperfections in our partners are what make them unique and different. Learning to like these imperfections is the key to a strong and successful relationships.

Thank you for this great article.

Cheers!

]]> By: Kesh http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-4744 Kesh Mon, 01 Dec 2008 01:56:34 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-4744 I'm glad i stumbled onto this article. My fiance and i are going through a rough patch. We are both busy people and i feel like communicaton is failing between us.. All 4 points above seem to be about us doing the wrong things in our relationship. Thanks for the insight...Time to work on us... :) I’m glad i stumbled onto this article. My fiance and i are going through a rough patch. We are both busy people and i feel like communicaton is failing between us..
All 4 points above seem to be about us doing the wrong things in our relationship.
Thanks for the insight…Time to work on us…
:)

]]> By: Pace http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-3226 Pace Tue, 28 Oct 2008 14:42:23 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-3226 Jonathan, Your point #1 reminded me of something I read in one of my favorite books, The Game of God. In the book, they define love as "total acceptance of what is." That blew my mind. Love isn't an emotion or a mushy feeling. Love isn't lust or like or fondness. Love is total acceptance of what is. Jonathan,

Your point #1 reminded me of something I read in one of my favorite books, The Game of God. In the book, they define love as “total acceptance of what is.”

That blew my mind. Love isn’t an emotion or a mushy feeling. Love isn’t lust or like or fondness. Love is total acceptance of what is.

]]> By: Laurie http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-3207 Laurie Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:47:01 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-3207 Ok, I think I have been treated like a dog a bunch! I keep fetching stuff. he he he. The best thing I did for my relationship was to be an individual in the midst of being a couple. Have my own mind, my own desires, my own likes and dislikes. AND allow my spouse to have his as well. Ok, I think I have been treated like a dog a bunch! I keep fetching stuff. he he he.

The best thing I did for my relationship was to be an individual in the midst of being a couple. Have my own mind, my own desires, my own likes and dislikes. AND allow my spouse to have his as well.

]]> By: Seamus Anthony http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-3003 Seamus Anthony Sat, 04 Oct 2008 07:40:05 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-3003 Jonathan - I have a bone to pick with you and your so called advice. After reading this I went and made tea and told my girlfriend that as far as I am concerned she is just like the dog, as I gave her a biscuit. So she started growling, which made sense, but then she told me to go for a walk, and at that point I cocked my head to the side in confusion. Now I don't know who the damn dog is because she won't stop bitching, I'm sleeping in the doghouse and the dog's on my side of the bed. I'm howling mad at you, dude. Woof. Jonathan – I have a bone to pick with you and your so called advice.

After reading this I went and made tea and told my girlfriend that as far as I am concerned she is just like the dog, as I gave her a biscuit.

So she started growling, which made sense, but then she told me to go for a walk, and at that point I cocked my head to the side in confusion.

Now I don’t know who the damn dog is because she won’t stop bitching, I’m sleeping in the doghouse and the dog’s on my side of the bed.

I’m howling mad at you, dude. Woof.

]]> By: Angel Cuala http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-3001 Angel Cuala Sat, 04 Oct 2008 01:49:35 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-3001 I am a happily married man for more than 12 years, with the same woman and I totally agree with number 4. My wife and I do not fail to do this even for simple matters, what do you want for dinner? Why were you late? What's your problem? Although the last 2 questions may sound offensive but we do it with so much care. By the way, I was browsing Zen Habits but I cannot remember if I really found you there. So I decided to subscribe so I will not lose your future post. Keep it up! I am a happily married man for more than 12 years, with the same woman and I totally agree with number 4.

My wife and I do not fail to do this even for simple matters, what do you want for dinner? Why were you late? What’s your problem?

Although the last 2 questions may sound offensive but we do it with so much care.

By the way, I was browsing Zen Habits but I cannot remember if I really found you there.

So I decided to subscribe so I will not lose your future post.

Keep it up!

]]> By: apricot tea. http://www.illuminatedmind.net/2008/10/02/the-four-secrets-to-a-nearly-perfect-relationship/#comment-2997 apricot tea. Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:44:55 +0000 http://www.illuminatedmind.net/?p=341#comment-2997 Someone asked if the picture he used is of him & I; although I wish the cuteness of romping around in the grass could be us, it is not. :] Someone asked if the picture he used is of him & I; although I wish the cuteness of romping around in the grass could be us, it is not. :]

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