Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. Sometimes the smartest choice is giving up.
I don’t think that giving up should be your primary method for dealing with problems. But there are certainly a lot of cases where it just seems to be the most intelligent answer.
The more I stop trying to force things to happen, the more they just seem to sort themselves out. The more I let things happen, the less time I spend trying to make them happen.
Giving up is really about honoring your feelings. It’s about giving up trying to force yourself into a
mold of societal shoulds and embracing your true self.
So here’s an invitation to…
- Give up trying to be cool.
- Give up your golden handcuffs.
- Give up wanting to be a famous musician, artist, architect, thinker, writer, whatever-it-is. Maybe it’s smarter to make your purpose to have an impact, instead.
- Give up wanting to be different for the sake of being unique.
- Give up trying to be perfect.
- Give up keeping relationships with people you don’t really like.
- Give up trying to be the center of attention.
- Give up trying to be important. (Focusing on community is usually more fulfilling.)
- Give up achieving a lot of ego-driven goals.
- Give up trying to be super-focused. Sometimes the most compelling ideas come from the most messy, unexpected sources.
- Give up trying to be indie.
- Give up trying to popular.
- Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life.
- Give up trying to have a perfectly organized workspace and a zero inbox.
With that said, there are a lot of ways we think we’re doing good, but we’re really not.
Counter-intuitive to what you think, it might make more sense to…
- Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful.
- Give up needing a reason to share your love. Being alive is reason enough.
- Give up trying to be everything to everyone.
- Give up trying to fit the mold of your race, astrological sign, job title, religious group, political party or other erroneous associations.
- Give up caring about being the smartest, best and fastest. At least don’t let your ego get caught up in it.
- Give up caring about “being a man” or “being a woman.” Or doing what is expected of your gender.
- Give up sacrificing your life for an expensive degree that makes you feel important.
- Give up trying to be ultra productive, especially if productivity is making you miserable.
- Give up caring about having a respectable job, a respectable resume, and a respectable life. Replace following a template, with freestyling life.
- Give up trying to constantly improve yourself. Sometimes too much self improvement can cause you to lose sight of the present.
- Give up caring about doing what works.
- Give up thinking you don’t have the time or skills to make your dreams a reality.
- Give up caring about knowing everything in advance before you take action. Put yourself on auto-response instead.
- Give up trying to always find interesting experiences and interesting things to do. Alternatively, be interesting and be interested.
- Give up trying to live up to the expectation of your parents, your friends, your boss, and peers.
- Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself.
- Give up trying to have a flawless body, perfect face, or an impeccable wardrobe. Care more about beautifying your mind and being a person who takes beautiful actions.
Trying to make things happen all the time creates a lot of unnecessary anxiety. It’s stressful trying to deny what is.
When I give up, I accept life as it is. No strings attached. No wishing things were different. If an action needs to be taken, I take it. But I’ve given up letting my happiness be dependent on a thing.
Most of these problems only exist within our minds. They’re not real physical problems; they’re simply psychic, imagined obstacles.
It’s interesting how we seem to have so many problems, so many dilemmas. But most of the time the answer to solving them is doing nothing. Giving up.
So, what do you think? Has giving up ever helped you win?
For more ways to reduce ridiculous thinking, get a free subscription to Illuminated Mind before they all run out.
There are some real gems in here. I’ve realized a few things in the last few trying months. Some things are important, truly important, and they deserve your time and energy. Others only provide the impression of importance. Knowing the difference. Knowing what holds you back, and what moved you forward.
I once worked for a company where my easy going attitude did not fit in with the type “A” personalities, so I tried very hard to become like them. I started working lots of overtime, skipping lunches, you know the rat race motto! Well it was not working, and I was becoming a person I did not like. So, I stopped caring what they thought and went back to my normal mode of attack, work 40 hours and have a life. You know what- just like Jonathan said, it made all the difference. They still did not like me, but I did not care, I liked myself! Thanks Jonathan- missed your post, but I know the Ebook will be worth it!
Hi
I agree with you on most of it. However, here is the thing…..if you give up you can’t make your dreams a reality. It’s like coach Bobby Knight, sure he was very short tempered but that’s who he is and that’s why Indiana Hoosiers went undefeated and won a NCAA championship. Some say why just Bob Knight gives up on his bad temper, the answer is that that’s who he is and sometimes that bad thing stays with you. Another good example is Dennis Rodman he won like 4 or 5 NBA championships….how did he do it, he didn’t give up on his bad attitude because that’s what makes him…him.
-Dmitriy
I think it all comes down to being true to yourself. If you focus on that (and it is certainly difficult to do so), all of these points that are mentioned here flow out naturally. You become more accepting of yourself, which is the gateway to acceptance of everything around you, which is what leads to real, lasting happiness.
Jonathan
What you are saying is not so much giving up as it is to just be yourself.
The more we try to force being something or someone that is not our authentic being, the more we create discord and unhappiness.
It’s much more fun and rewarding to give up comparing myself with the perfect media specimen and just be myself.
I’ve often found that giving up came right before a breakthrough experience. This seems to be true of the spiritual path, in that right before the completion of what’s called “1st path” in the Theravadan insight maps comes a complete and total giving up.
But be careful! “Apathy is the near enemy of equanimity.” Giving up and giving in are a razor’s edge difference, and I’ve often fallen into depression and apathy instead of surrender and equanimity. It’s quite the art, and I find myself more humiliated regularly with how I fail to make the distinction appropriately! And how I respond to the humbling again challenges me to surrender instead of submit, be equanimous instead of apathetic.
I love “Give up wanting to be a famous musician, artist, architect, thinker, writer, whatever-it-is. Maybe it’s smarter to make your purpose to have an impact, instead.” As a musician and songwriter it really hits home. Though I’ve never had a primary objective of being famous, my goals are a lot different now then they were when I first started. I’ve learned that I’m most successful when I do things on my own terms and not try to emulate some one else.
Good post, though I don’t know if I would have phrased it as “giving up.” I guess you’re approaching the Zen ideas letting go and non-attachment, just using different terminology. The idea of not letting fixation on certain ideas is a simple yet incredibly effective way to improve your outlook on life.
This is such an incredible post! Giving up on working so hard for your goals is hard to put into words without sounding slacker-ish – what you’re doing here is a sort of re-framing of your goals, a softening of them so that you’re marching with, through and to happiness and contribution instead of some kind of certificate of accomplishment. Self-fulfillment instead of acknowledgment (not that you can’t be acknowledged as a bonus…) Thank you for the wonderful pieces, Rori
I so know the feeling! I often face problems where I over-analyze them to pieces. “If I do this, then this bad thing will happen, but if not, then this will happen…” Sometimes, when you let go of the reins, the problems will suddenly fall into place and the path is clear. I often forget what in the world I was so worried about.
Thanks for sharing! Stumbled. :)
Kimberlee
While most of your points are valid ones, I beg to disagree with the whole attitude of it. Well, I am not a psychiatrist but am an avid reader of the genre. Well, IMHO, people, rather than concentrating on something “negative” like this, should concentrate on positive words. Our brain is a complex computer and we need to program it very carefully. “Giving up” is not a negative phrase but there’s a difference between “I will stop doing this” and “I have started doing something else”. We need to program our sub conscious mind saying things that are positive. This especially should help people who’ve been practising self-hypnosis!
Overall, in the physical sense, I think your article is fascinating!
“rampantheart” your comment is strange, however valid, since it contradicts IMO the whole spirit of the post. I just find it funny that you even bother to write being the gist so far away from the “programming” concept. By the way, I wouldn’t see why I have force myself to be “positive” while that’s supposed to arise naturally from chosing right, from loving and existing.
Cheers
Good post, Jonathan! I was just re-reading Seth Godin’s ‘the Dip’. One of his main points in this book is becoming the best in your field by giving up a lot of things you know you’re not able to be the best in.
This is not really the same as what you write, but it’s also about giving up and not holding on to everything you do just because you started it.
Jonathan…what you say is eerily strange. I think people can read it on a first level and if they stop there it sounds as if you are recommending giving up in this article, not accomplishing goals in others, etc. The thing is, if one is a contemplative soul and can truly reflect on the deeper meaning of what you say, one should conclude that this advice may just be the best advice out there.
I have to accept that I’m pretty firmly entrenched in midlife and I have had my kids taken in a divorce. Today I work harder than ever before and from all outward appearances I have it made. Internally I know the pace is killing me and i know I sacrifice the present for some dream of what the future could be like, yet it is always just out of reach.
Keep up the posts, your work is meaningful.
My take from this is to make sure my priorities are firmly rooted in my deepest values (life principles). I find myself forcing things that I “should” be doing, while letting the truly important things go by the wayside…this is my ego’s attempt to live up to an image that I’ve created so others will “like” me, instead of following my heart’s desire so that I can actually like myself. Giving up on the superficial “todo’s” and the need to please everyone else seems like a good prescription for a happy life. Thanks for a wonderful post!
this is a really great post. in fact, I copy and pasted the “invitation” and put it on my mirror. I often try so hard at trying to make something work that I often end up with the exact opposite result than I wanted. I often find myself trying force things I think I “should” be doing or thinking and letting the things I really value and the more important things to me end up on the back burner. awesome post!
It’s the great dilemma of self improvement, isn’t it? How do you walk the line between acceptance of what is, and striving for improvement?
Sounds like you’ve got some solid tactics for doing just that, Jonathan. Personally, it’s still something I grapple with every day.
I love this article because its the best thing to do but the hardest as well. This statement:”Give up sacrificing your life for an expensive degree that makes you feel important.” really hits home for me because right now I am pursuing a degree that is not sacrificing my time but it is not getting my attention or motivation the way it once did. I tried so hard to find a degree program that I would enjoy doing and now I feel like I wasted my time because I learned a lot less than I thought I would. I don’t feel confident in my knowledge enough to be psyched about the industry I chose and I have other ideas for a different degree but I’m afraid to give up and start again.
Thanks for the inspiration and I would love to buy you a cup of coffee. =)
What your are saying Jonathan is basically to ACCEPT some aspects of our life and don’t waste too much energy fighting them.
I agree “nobody is perfect” and you should sometime accept your imperfections.
I prefer to use all my energy to emphasize my strength and let things happen instead of only work on my weaknesses.
Hi
I would look at as realising what is in fact important to you, your values and your ultimate goals. And then working from that. Not deviating, not being affected by others. Being you.
Juliet
Give up trying to get a job? Give up trying to please my parents? Give up trying to get a lot of traffic to my blog? Give up trying to make money blogging?
Something to think about.
I gave up just doing things because somehow it was expected. I now know what I need to do for myself and for others (or I try to.)
I gave up being frantic.
I gave up being friends with people who are just energy-drains (or at least I moved them from close friends status)
I gave up smoking twice. The second time it worked. I think that counts, because it was the best thing I ever did.
I have more but I don’t think there’s room.
I’ve been needing someone to tell me this for a long, long time. You’re definately right: too much focus on goals can make those goals seem unattainable. Thanks for encouraging me to let my hair down.
Well, whatever we focus on expands. Sometimes we focus on a problem and it’s all we see. So “giving up” provides us with a new perspective where we can see beyond the “problem” (which often only exists in our own perception, anyway!) and focus on being present.
Blessings,
Andrea
Hey Jonathan – I heard about your site via a Twitter from Heather Mundell. I’ve really enjoyed reading along. I started writing a couple of blogs about three months ago and am still looking for my voice. One of them has parallels with yours. It is called Quixoting – A Quest for New ideas. It is all about impulsively releasing all of my pent up (and stored away) ideas to the world and hopefully inspiring others to do so. Originally intended as an incubator of sorts, it is now that plus a place for creative wanderings and some philosophy. However, unlike my other blog (which is picking up steam), Quixoting is not being read by many. Do blogs of this type take longer to get going? What was your experience?
Ya know, I always love reading your articles because they are just chock full of perspective.
Each of these things to give up is a gem and I genuinely feel much better leaving them on the table rather than internalizing all these things. I do way too many so I’m going to try to give up a few of them :)
Cheers and keep up the great articles!
Brad Spencer
The notion of “giving up” seems antethetical to solving a problem, however i think your explanation of giving up is an insightful approach. i think that giving up is about acceptance of the problem- this is not being passive- in buddhist terms it’s called, “yielding”
thank you for this perspective on approaching problems- one may not agree with this perspective but it feels plausible
I think that in the moment you give up to something you detach yourself from the outcome and therefore you attract something more meaningful to you. Another thing that can happen is to get what you initially wanted.
I once gave up to push signing a contract for my ex corp, and then suddenly I got my contract signed in time… ;-)
The more you are keen on something the more energy you waste. Opposite, the more you give up, the more detached you are, the more in harmony you live, the more you attract what is meaningful for you as pure human being.
Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts.
i
I agree partly with what you’re saying. And I disagree, also.
There are many things in history that would not have occurred had those involved just given up on the issues at hand. Polio was a pretty big deal, and is coming back in some parts of Africa. Imagine if Dr. Salk had just accepted the disease for what it was!
Smallpox. Automobiles. Computers. The internet. Space travel. All derived from the will to do something with our lives and push ourselves ever onward. We could have just accepted smallpox, horse-drawn carriages, lack of super-fast, super-abundant information, and remain stationary here on our home planet. But someone decided that they weren’t going to do that.
So, I agree that sometimes we have to let go of the preconceptions others have given us concerning life and happiness. But I certainly disagree that giving up is a way to progress. Though it may be a way to wipe your slate clean so that you may work forward from there.
I just gave up 2 full years of serving the nation! I’ve actually finished my service and am now liberatORD to pursue an abundant life. :)
Hi Jonathan,
I am new to this game and live across the planet in little old Denmark. All I wanna tell you is that you put out some really cool stuff. I like this last one, and have followed that way of life for a long time myself. It does work.
P.
Thank you. I needed to read that.
I completely agree with you.
We want to be what we constantly see on all that advertizing (made to make us feel unsatisfied) and we forget that’s not reality.
“This isn’t life, it’s just stuff. And it’s become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that’s just nuts.” from American Beauty
This was an awesome post about the important thing in life and getting one’s priorities straight. Thanks so much for sharing it!
wow, when I read that the smartest choice was ‘giving up’ I wasn’t sure where you were heading with the post, then I read the rest ;) Fantastic compilation, very thought-provoking.
This is certainly one of the best posts I have stumbled upon lately. Such a great list out there, and so painfully true as well.
Cheers!
Great post J.
What is the point of trying. All is transitory, nothing lasts forever.
Enjoy what you have while you got it, everything you think you gain today you also lose. A gain in wealth for a loss of days left living.
Come on don’t you guys get it? He’s not saying give up and don;t care, he’s saying accept what is….it is, what it is …..acceptance is the most pure form of happiness….
one way to manage your expectations is to determine what you want….we follow a plan for school, for buying a car, for reading a book, there is a method we follow, so why don’t we plan the most important most obvious readson we are here…which is OUR LIFE! we just randomly blunder through each day without a clear path to get to where we want to go…check out this ebook, designing best year ever http://www.successonlinetools.com/bestyearever/
cheers
Always good to have a bit of perspective. Thanks.
That’s a good point you make, however, i don’t think that giving up trying to achieve something will mean that you will achieve it. I think the point you really make is that you need to give up caring about things that are unimportant or things that are too unrealistic that you will never achieve (eg. like trying to be perfect); come back down to earth and focus on the more important things in life.
I think you’re right.
But how do you give up? I just can’t.. But at this moment I really would like to do it.
Why’s life so difficult..
I am glad I stumbled upon this article of yours.
Thank you for playing the Devil’s advocate against the current trends. I may not agree with all of the items on your lists, but several of them made me think very hard about my own goals, and made me step back and examine things I previously took as self-evident truths.
Guess what? They turned out not to be so true.
So please consider this high praise.
You speak to the idea of “non-being.” Not to take one ounce of energy away from your impressive work here, there are dozens of philosophers, writers and thinkers who have written volumes on this mode of being. You simply put it in a modern frame for your readers, which is a hallmark of an excellent communicator.
Here are some of my favorite “non-being” quotes:
“Freedom from the desire for the answer is essential to the understanding of a problem.” ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~ Chinese Proverb
“You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody. Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody. For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything. The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed — and the natural state of the mind is pure love.” ~ Ram Dass
lol I love that..give up..I am head over feat with a girl in malta…and I keep trying to find a way to make it possible..maybe by not trying life will give me a way…
When it comes to business, this definitely applies to me. When I’m trying hard to make something happen for my blog or website, I often feel stuck. The harder I try, a particular issues doesn’t get solved. When I relax, take a deep breath and “give up” everything falls into place.
PLEASE READ THIS CLARIFICATION:
A lot of people above have commented on the usefulness of this article and some others don’t seem to get it the way I think it was meant to be helpful. Some people above are talking about “Why should I give up on making money…getting a better education…changing the world with better technology etc.”.
I want to remove this confusion some people above have about giving up. PLEASE LOOK AT THE REAL MEANING of this article…
IN JONATHAN’S OWN WORDS HE SAYS:
1) “I don’t think that giving up should be your primary method for dealing with problems.”
2) “Give up thinking you don’t have the time or skills to make your dreams a reality.”
Instead what you should give up is your wanting to be a certain way and certain outcomes in life – give up on that want/that desire…that greed. Don’t waste your precious energy in only dreaming..learn to be peaceful with yourself…don’t be lazy, but learn to accept and make positive changes.
Jonathan is NOT AT ALL telling you to give up on meaningful goals, rather TO HELP you achieve your meaningful goals by giving up on being pretentious, giving up useless materialistic goals of wanting to be perfect for the sake of vanity etc..
Jonathan – I really liked this post.
I think it’s important to point out though that most of the things you’ve mentioned here aren’t problems at all. They’re just a result of not thinking clearly; of misperception.
Trying to be cool, to be famous, unique, perfect, to own a lot of cool things etc. is not trying to solve a problem – it’s fabricating a problem that doesn’t really exist.
For a more relaxed, content life, you should learn to discern what your ‘problems’ really are. You’d be surprised at how few you actually have.
This isn’t giving up on a problem, it’s ackowledging that the problem doesn’t really exist.
Have bookmarked.
excellent title…really caught my eye and took me by surprise ;). also a very well written article that completely makes sense.
Unless I missed this, but consider adding : give up trying to please everyone – I personally can vouch for the success of that.
AJ Kumar
Folks:
I am struggling with a lot of things in my life that I do not like – job, etc. But I wonder – is it a responsible, adult action to “give up” or “drop out,” not just in the sence of taking care of one’s dependents, but in terms of society at large. For example, what would happen to the country if every one”dropped out?” Are we doing our part to further our collective goals if we “drop out?” Thoughts?
i love this, someone just put out an album i love, and this was one of the main ideas. giving up and striving, going though the ups and downs are just another form of breathing. what we want is unreachable, but it doesnt mean that reaching is not worth trying
i say, throw rocks at the moon all day if you want
I loved this article.
Well put and I totally agree with what you’ve written. Shortly after 9/11 I was facing a crossroad with my business as it too was leveled during that moment of crisis.
I went quiet for weeks and simply listened to find what would grow in my life if I didn’t make it rain. I wasn’t giving up in the literal sense of the word as it is important to achieve my dreams. No, by going quiet and giving up the energy can you stop false momentum from taking you in the wrong direction.
great list of reminders on how to focus on and find what’s really important. I spent the first 7 years after college trying to be ‘responsible’ about money, wanting to pay back some of what I’d borrowed for school before starting into what I thought I was supposed to be doing. The other half of my time I spent trying to plan so I could be perfectly prepared and would know absolutely positively that I would succeed at the next step. Those 7 years (yeah – do you believe /7/ years?!? crazy!) were some of the hardest and most miserable of my life. I definitely learned a lot. I finally decided to stop with the plans and trying to make things work and just wait and see what was next. This involved a lot of prayer too – I feel like God was saying, ‘Are you ready to listen now?’ And here I am, almost 2 years living in China, feeling a peace and total affirmation that I’m where I’m supposed to be and, wow, are these students I’m working with amazing people. Instead of mucking about in an office job, which for me was sheer torment, doing work that had no real point, I am out and about, helping people in a place and a position that really /uses/ who I am – feel so blessed to be here! Just a note from a nomad.
I’m enjoying looking around your blog – keep up the great work (in the best sense of the word!!) :)
Absolutely brilliant. Thank you for this
Once you quit it becomes a habit. If there is a chance to change bad things – change them.
I declared a week of follow through to try to get some things checked off my non-existent but very long list. Ended up adding multiple extra things to do for every completion. This left me feeling both energized by the freed up space in my mind and overwhelmed by the new more to do.
Thanks for this post – perfect timing
You are so right. I have decided to give up to get back into a relationship with the person I deemed most lovable and compatible. And guess what: It feel much better than I had expected;-)…. this trying to get back thingy is very exhausting. Love does not saturate your needs, no it makes you even more hungry because It is only hope.
From 2001-2006 I was obsessed with going back to college and finishing my degree. I went back to Community College for several semesters, earned a bunch of A’s and started studying for the SAT. I moved to Chicago and started visiting local universities. I even dressed up and went in for an interview. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I remembered how much I hated the idea of paying a LOT of money to read books I could read for free, and to do things that other people think I need to do to educate and inform myself. I remembered how much I resented my first two years of college and how little control I felt I had over my choices, despite paying through the nose. Once I released myself from the expectation that I had to get a bachelor’s degree to feel like a valued member of society, I realized how much free time I had to write, travel for dancing, play music, and essentially… follow my dreams. And none of these dreams require a college degree in order to fulfill them. Do I still fantasize about being an academic? Of course I do, but I don’t have to put myself through the ringer to be intellectually on par with the rest of the world. Will I go back to school someday? Maybe… but it’s not a pressure on me anymore, and that is a great relief.
How does this work for people who are married with children who would face the wrath and criticism of not only her spouse but also that of her in-laws and her own father if she should DARE to try something different and (in their minds) risk the welfare and well-being of the family. I am paralyzed by their fear and beliefs about ‘the way things should be done’ and by my own fear of their disapproval. How’s that for social pressure?
So, after all that, anybody have any suggestions?
Thanks, man!
I was all ready doing some of this but there were a lot of ideas that I have yet to implement.
“Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself.” This will be my personal motto for some weeks now, I’ve always beaten myself up, now it will stop! :)
But never ever give up on life and love. ^^
“Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful.”
thank you.
Thank you very much for this – it’s exactly at the right time for me in my life and reminds me of how any success and happiness that I had came to me. Thank you for this permission.
Jonathan,
I think that what you are speaking to is the ability to be authentic, to pursue and realize your individual goals, and to separate yourself from the internalized expectations and socialization of an often sick society. In essence, all we have is a matter of minutes and the choice of how we will “spend our time” here. It is really an existential question that begs to be answered, who am I and what am I doing here, what is my purpose, and what will I leave behind? Giving up the egoism that steals our precious minutes, energies, and resources is the first step to truly waking to our authentic self. Thank you for the fabulous reminder.
Hi,
I just found your blog by way of zen habits. Just reading this post, I could feel so much pressure and weight melt from my shoulders. It is so exhausting to keep up with the Joneses. This post is a gift. Thank you.
You just saved my life. I typed “giving up” in google, to find ways to give up on life, and read your article instead. Now its posted on my bathroom mirror – I’m giving up on worrying and trying, instead Im going to live to have impact, to be connected, to be truly interested in life itself! Thank you.
hummmmmm…now that means we all should follow our own instincts and choose our goal accordingly.one should not follow a perticular path just becoze its difficult for him or her. Those who achieved geniousness are the ones who followed there interest and had a strong feeling towards there purpose in life which made the journy rather adventerous and fun without getting carried away from what others think or opine about them eg are…picaso,newton,einstine,amithabbacchan,and the latest one stephen hawkins…as is said if u realy feel the need for something the whole universe conspires to help you in getting it…the important thing is to believe and have faith…very good artical.
I am about to have my supplementary exam for one of my subjects today and I just wanted to give up this opportunity because I just cant do it. I feel like such a failer right now and after reading your post it made me feel that giving up so many things will make me fail more.
Sometimes that is the only solution. Let life handle it better.
thank you I needed that.
I just stumbled across this page accidentally. I have been stressed for months and months about this economy and getting into a certain degree program. My life has been miserable with responsibilities I put on myself. I think I am following a path that everyone else has told me to pursue. But inside, I feel when im free of these normalities…Im at peace. This was weird how I found this site. But it has saved me…
I was not sure what I was going to read when I stumbled onto this page earlier today. However, I am very glad I read it and all of the related comments. It was nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with this concept and it is wonderful to have someone saying, “Just feel the power to let it all go?” This was not an article about throwing your life away and living in a cardboard box at the end of your street, it is all about taking stock of what one really wants i life and being quiet long enough to be sure you go the direction you want to go and you are happy with that. Great article! Powerful.
I have to admit that this site makes alot of sense to me. For the last one year my life has been a nightmare. I had a good life before last august. A good job, money, a good home…then everything just fell apart….and i have lived a lie for the last one year…living in debt to keep up with the lifestyle i had… in the process i have destroyed a reputation i built, relationships i had and the work i did. And as sat today feeling miserable with myself i happened to find this site….i have decided to give up on this lie that i have lived for the last one year. Somehow i feel like its a good, new beginning…where i can find new happiness…
tnx
Just google for Epictetus.
Stoicism is making a comeback. It’s probably more useful to western buddhists than buddhism. If only they knew about it.
When I have a problem and like to solve it and it takes so much effort, I always give up. But I really don’t give up, I just focus my interest in other things.
Some day, a brilliant, simple solution, appears in my mind. My subconscious had been working in the shadow.
It works because when something doesn’t work, you need to change your strategy, if you continue doing the same things, you get the same results, no matter how much effort you apply. Worse, you get burned.
Recently i gave up on many opportunities, because they were not what i wanted to do, or (by doing them) to be.
I just feel better to see that i’m not the only one who thinks that sometimes, the better think to do is to give up on something that does not make you happy.
My favorite quote :”Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life.”
Thanks a million for this.
A strange game. It seems the only winning move is not to play.
Great post! Very well said. Will refer some of my clients to read it! Trying to “keep up” with things does not work. It resonates with me because it’s part of my daily philosophy, just wish I had found as good a way to talk about it as you did!
Dr. Ada
Awesome article!
difficult to keep in practice :)
Give up trying to be indie & popular?!? Who wrote this and are you 12?
Life is full of problems.
The more you solve them, the more new ones come up.
And you can sweep problems under the carpet or run away from them.
Wherever you go, sooner or later there will be problems for you to solve.
Since this is a fact of life, you may as well develop some skills on how to handle problems in life.
Here are some insights on how to deal with problems in life so that you may achieve success and happiness.
One of the best ways to handle problems is to have the right attitude towards them.
Sometimes problems may be blessings in disguise.
Problems may be a way that existence is trying to assist us to create opportunities for us to grow and become better human beings.
Problems can hide opportunities not only for personal growth but also to create wealth and success.
For every problem, there should be a solution.
Whenever you encounter any problem that has no solution, you may well understand that it is not a problem to begin with.
Problems are also the first step in a new invention.
great post thanks for sharing this
This is a beautiful post.. just thinking “give up” gives me so much of peace.. The man I love just got engaged to another woman.. At moments of clarity I realise I have been fighting for something not worth fighting for.. giving up, letting go and moving on is really making me feel happier!
Wow. Reading that felt like a great weight of my shoulders. I just took a nice deep breath…ahhh. I guess the real answer is to ‘just be’ and let life come as it does.
I love it!
Scott