The Best Way to Solve a Problem: Give Up

this is amazing. it felt like a huge weight got lifted out of me after i read it. your my inspiration.

Great post, really great timing when I read it. I've personally given up chasing someone elses dream of becoming a doctor to pursue the things I'm actually passionate about.

If I'd seen stuff like this in high school, who knows, maybe I would have been doing what mattered to me right out of high school rather than 3 years into a pre-med curriculum right before applying to medical school.

I'm in the process of reading your book and it's great, keep up the good work.

And your credit card number is....?

I give up a lot on problems I don't really care about solving, and so far they always magically solved themselves. My mom is always really good at pressing me to take action. Often times I don't listen and don't take action and stuff works itself out, even if it's a day later than my mom would've wanted. It makes me much more peaceful anyway, which I think is more valuable.

I think this is a great article to help people in these times of troubled economy, lack of care, fear etc. People are holding on so desperately to things in their life for fear they'll lose a part of themselves - jobs, home etc. but if it causes stress it doesn't make sense. Stress only leads to personal unhappiness and global malaise. Thanks for your article, I will share it with my tweeters and fb firends

Awesome.

I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!! Awesome job!!!! I'd love to post it as a guest writer on my blog- tianastarmusic.wordpress.com let me know if that'd be ok with you! Thanks for this!

HI....I DECLARE MY FAITH IN GOD MY WILL ARE STRONG AND I AM GRATEFUL, FOR HE IS EXALTED IN MIGHT MOST WISE ...WHATS GOOD IS FROM GOD THE BADS ARE FROM OWN WRONGDOING....

hi....please sort out my predicament. Ive been a faithfull religious person since young, i also practice law of attration. M divorced for 7 years, i pray to God i want to get married again but horifyingly my ex who is obvious sinner and cheater and unresponsible father got married again. I ve sacrificed alot for God and trying hard to believe that God will be on my side but m so dissapointed now it is always my ex who got it all ....now everytime i think of God i just keep thinking why not make my ex realised and be a happy family again instead of allowing him to get married .....or make him go thru what ive gone tru because the stronger he gets the more abusive he become towards me and tease me that God did not help me. If i call Gods name my ex will come into my mind.......i hate to give up but i think i should give up in faith

yeah great post dude. thank you. Its amazing how you stumble on something very valuable when you need it. for the past couple of years i was trying my hardest to be the best person i can be. i exercised, read the right books, newspapers and magazines, socialized with the right people, focused on my religion/spirituality and balanced my work and studies. the truth is i stopped doing that this year. i made a promise to myself at the end of 2010 that this year will be my year. my year meaning to let go of everything society wants and expects of you. i still believe their is a fine line in giving up all those things that you want to control, but the truth also is you tap into a realm of yourself that is beyond anything that you have experienced. that downside of trying too much is the feeling of failure. something just kept telling me that i should let life take its course and enjoy the ride. everyone has his own purpose on earth, and had it before you were born SO you will eventually become the true personality when you let go. But as i said, there is a very fine line. determination feeds me. this year is the first year that i feel more relaxed, studies going very well (its a first). So yeah, i agree 100% with you!

This is good and inspiring stuff man, Really Like Youre Post!

Excellent post. It reminds me of the Zen Proverb:

"When you seek it, you cannot find it.
Your hand cannot reach it, Nor your mind exceed it.
When you no longer seek it, It is always with you." ~Zen Proverb.

This applies to love, fame, coolness - all manner of things which are false goals.

I love the first line of this article "Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem. " This holds so true for me because I gave up on my bank job that I had made unhappy for too long. Ironically, I reached my breaking point and I told my boss, "I give up." While that may signal defeat, it released me from the bondage of a job that was stressing me to illness. And guess what, the problem has been solved. I quit my job and they filled my position with two people instead of one. So everybody wins (and I honestly mean that) and I get to be who I really want to be. So thanks for the article Jonathan, that's exactly how I feel. Give up on the "should's" and step in to the life you were meant to live.

"The more I stop trying to force things to happen, the more they just seem to sort themselves out."

This is the most important point in any roadblock. The more you leave your mind alone, the more it will work on a problem in the background. Our subconscious minds are like processors constantly working and ordering things for us. Solutions happen best when you are in the shower, or walking, or in the restroom...

this philosophy is what got me through my computer science degree :)

Well, it's about time that somebody "shoots from the hip" and tells it like it is. You hit on a lot of points that have a direct effect on me and my life and what I've gone through and what I am now experiencing. Your "insight" is spooky. Are you sure you're not a part-time paranormal psychic? You could definetly qualify. I look forward to more of your "gifted intuition". Thanks.

Folks this post rings so true because it is WISDOM. It is knowledge, gained through life experience, extracted by introspection and articulated simply that is applicable to bettering the human condition.

It's so GD anti-consumerist-competitive-american-corporate mantra to be amazing. And I am printing it, framing it and placing it in my office right now!

Lastly, If you know a person suffering through "quarter life crisis", have them read this. Perhaps if I had this post, and read it to my ex-wife we'd still be together. I'll take responsibility to my portion of "us" falling apart, her unrealistic life view was key. I hope she comes to realize some of the points made above. While we will never and should never be a couple again, I still wish her peace.

I have realised so many things by reading yours words, there is 'good' in your words. Many of the simple things of human life are done in so complicated way that we lose touch with our ownself, we forget that greatest gift is life, and we should embrace it. Thank you so much for all the kind words because it has impacted me deeply. keep up the work.

Giving up means winning?

If you still care about winning, then you didn't give up.

If you truly gave up, you now longer acknowledge a "win".

But giving up, in the way you describe it, isn't giving up, its relieving yourself of pressure and taking it easier in an attempt to still WIN.

Actually giving up means you lose.

In terms of Robert Downy Jr. - "Everybody knows you never go full retard"

Wow. Reading that felt like a great weight of my shoulders. I just took a nice deep breath...ahhh. I guess the real answer is to 'just be' and let life come as it does.

I love it!
Scott

This is a beautiful post.. just thinking "give up" gives me so much of peace.. The man I love just got engaged to another woman.. At moments of clarity I realise I have been fighting for something not worth fighting for.. giving up, letting go and moving on is really making me feel happier!

Life is full of problems.

The more you solve them, the more new ones come up.

And you can sweep problems under the carpet or run away from them.

Wherever you go, sooner or later there will be problems for you to solve.

Since this is a fact of life, you may as well develop some skills on how to handle problems in life.

Here are some insights on how to deal with problems in life so that you may achieve success and happiness.

One of the best ways to handle problems is to have the right attitude towards them.

Sometimes problems may be blessings in disguise.

Problems may be a way that existence is trying to assist us to create opportunities for us to grow and become better human beings.

Problems can hide opportunities not only for personal growth but also to create wealth and success.

For every problem, there should be a solution.

Whenever you encounter any problem that has no solution, you may well understand that it is not a problem to begin with.

Problems are also the first step in a new invention.

great post thanks for sharing this

Give up trying to be indie & popular?!? Who wrote this and are you 12?

Awesome article!
difficult to keep in practice :)

Great post! Very well said. Will refer some of my clients to read it! Trying to "keep up" with things does not work. It resonates with me because it's part of my daily philosophy, just wish I had found as good a way to talk about it as you did!

Dr. Ada

A strange game. It seems the only winning move is not to play.

Recently i gave up on many opportunities, because they were not what i wanted to do, or (by doing them) to be.

I just feel better to see that i'm not the only one who thinks that sometimes, the better think to do is to give up on something that does not make you happy.

My favorite quote :"Give up caring about owning a lot of cool things, which keep you distracted from acknowledging that you don’t like what you’re doing with your life."

Thanks a million for this.

When I have a problem and like to solve it and it takes so much effort, I always give up. But I really don't give up, I just focus my interest in other things.

Some day, a brilliant, simple solution, appears in my mind. My subconscious had been working in the shadow.

It works because when something doesn't work, you need to change your strategy, if you continue doing the same things, you get the same results, no matter how much effort you apply. Worse, you get burned.

Just google for Epictetus.

Stoicism is making a comeback. It's probably more useful to western buddhists than buddhism. If only they knew about it.

tnx

I have to admit that this site makes alot of sense to me. For the last one year my life has been a nightmare. I had a good life before last august. A good job, money, a good home...then everything just fell apart....and i have lived a lie for the last one year...living in debt to keep up with the lifestyle i had... in the process i have destroyed a reputation i built, relationships i had and the work i did. And as sat today feeling miserable with myself i happened to find this site....i have decided to give up on this lie that i have lived for the last one year. Somehow i feel like its a good, new beginning...where i can find new happiness...

I was not sure what I was going to read when I stumbled onto this page earlier today. However, I am very glad I read it and all of the related comments. It was nice to know that I am not the only one struggling with this concept and it is wonderful to have someone saying, "Just feel the power to let it all go?" This was not an article about throwing your life away and living in a cardboard box at the end of your street, it is all about taking stock of what one really wants i life and being quiet long enough to be sure you go the direction you want to go and you are happy with that. Great article! Powerful.

I just stumbled across this page accidentally. I have been stressed for months and months about this economy and getting into a certain degree program. My life has been miserable with responsibilities I put on myself. I think I am following a path that everyone else has told me to pursue. But inside, I feel when im free of these normalities...Im at peace. This was weird how I found this site. But it has saved me...

thank you I needed that.

Sometimes that is the only solution. Let life handle it better.

I am about to have my supplementary exam for one of my subjects today and I just wanted to give up this opportunity because I just cant do it. I feel like such a failer right now and after reading your post it made me feel that giving up so many things will make me fail more.

hummmmmm...now that means we all should follow our own instincts and choose our goal accordingly.one should not follow a perticular path just becoze its difficult for him or her. Those who achieved geniousness are the ones who followed there interest and had a strong feeling towards there purpose in life which made the journy rather adventerous and fun without getting carried away from what others think or opine about them eg are...picaso,newton,einstine,amithabbacchan,and the latest one stephen hawkins...as is said if u realy feel the need for something the whole universe conspires to help you in getting it...the important thing is to believe and have faith...very good artical.

You just saved my life. I typed "giving up" in google, to find ways to give up on life, and read your article instead. Now its posted on my bathroom mirror - I'm giving up on worrying and trying, instead Im going to live to have impact, to be connected, to be truly interested in life itself! Thank you.

Hi,

I just found your blog by way of zen habits. Just reading this post, I could feel so much pressure and weight melt from my shoulders. It is so exhausting to keep up with the Joneses. This post is a gift. Thank you.

Jonathan,

I think that what you are speaking to is the ability to be authentic, to pursue and realize your individual goals, and to separate yourself from the internalized expectations and socialization of an often sick society. In essence, all we have is a matter of minutes and the choice of how we will "spend our time" here. It is really an existential question that begs to be answered, who am I and what am I doing here, what is my purpose, and what will I leave behind? Giving up the egoism that steals our precious minutes, energies, and resources is the first step to truly waking to our authentic self. Thank you for the fabulous reminder.

Thank you very much for this - it's exactly at the right time for me in my life and reminds me of how any success and happiness that I had came to me. Thank you for this permission.

"Give up trying to be super happy all the time. Instead, settle for being peaceful."
thank you.

But never ever give up on life and love. ^^

"Give up trying to live up to the expectation of… yourself." This will be my personal motto for some weeks now, I've always beaten myself up, now it will stop! :)

Thanks, man!

I was all ready doing some of this but there were a lot of ideas that I have yet to implement.

How does this work for people who are married with children who would face the wrath and criticism of not only her spouse but also that of her in-laws and her own father if she should DARE to try something different and (in their minds) risk the welfare and well-being of the family. I am paralyzed by their fear and beliefs about 'the way things should be done' and by my own fear of their disapproval. How's that for social pressure?

So, after all that, anybody have any suggestions?

From 2001-2006 I was obsessed with going back to college and finishing my degree. I went back to Community College for several semesters, earned a bunch of A's and started studying for the SAT. I moved to Chicago and started visiting local universities. I even dressed up and went in for an interview. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I remembered how much I hated the idea of paying a LOT of money to read books I could read for free, and to do things that other people think I need to do to educate and inform myself. I remembered how much I resented my first two years of college and how little control I felt I had over my choices, despite paying through the nose. Once I released myself from the expectation that I had to get a bachelor's degree to feel like a valued member of society, I realized how much free time I had to write, travel for dancing, play music, and essentially... follow my dreams. And none of these dreams require a college degree in order to fulfill them. Do I still fantasize about being an academic? Of course I do, but I don't have to put myself through the ringer to be intellectually on par with the rest of the world. Will I go back to school someday? Maybe... but it's not a pressure on me anymore, and that is a great relief.

You are so right. I have decided to give up to get back into a relationship with the person I deemed most lovable and compatible. And guess what: It feel much better than I had expected;-).... this trying to get back thingy is very exhausting. Love does not saturate your needs, no it makes you even more hungry because It is only hope.

I declared a week of follow through to try to get some things checked off my non-existent but very long list. Ended up adding multiple extra things to do for every completion. This left me feeling both energized by the freed up space in my mind and overwhelmed by the new more to do.

Thanks for this post - perfect timing

Once you quit it becomes a habit. If there is a chance to change bad things - change them.