On some level we all think that no one can make a difference. And it’s exactly why most people never do.
The idea that you’re too small or too powerless to create change is the biggest reason for inaction. And it’s probably the weakest excuse ever.
But being too small isn’t what I want to talk about here. Because I don’t think that’s the real issue. People feeling too small isn’t really what it’s about. It’s about people feeling too big.
Most of the time we forget that other people in the world exist. Sure, we know it on an intellectual level. We engage and communicate with people every day. We can see, hear and feel them. But on some level they always exist “out there” as “others.”
And in some very real way, we feel that we are the center of the universe. It’s hard to step outside of ourselves and see that others really are effected by our choices and actions.
It’s much easier to remain with the illusion that we’re the only person that exists, and that our action or inaction doesn’t impact others in a tangible way. And it’s in this way, as the center of the universe, we move back into this curiously odd role play again that we’re too small. Too big and too small, all at once. The strange thing is, holding this paradox in our mind for some reason doesn’t seem the slightest bit odd.
But if we want to really live truthfully — and come face to face with the essential reality of life — we have to break the illusion of small-bigness.
We have to see things as they are.
We are all deeply and irrevocably interconnected. I cannot make a choice without it affecting the entire world.
I think it’s time we realize:
All of our actions are world-changing.
Anything less than accepting this simple, profound truth means living falsely. It’s an incredibly awesome responsibility, and it’s a bit scary. But it’s also very empowering.
When you realize this, I think it’s impossible not to realize something else…
You don’t have the right to not care.
All of our actions, big and small, impact our world. All of our actions are political, no matter how personal. From the clothes we wear, to the food and products we buy, to the voices we use to speak our opinions. They are all political choices and they affect everyone.
How we choose to engage with others is also deeply impactful. We have a social responsibility to be compassionate, kind, and loving to others. Because all of our actions affect the world. And those of others affect you as well.
We are all interdependent and interconnected. It’s time we wake up to this reality, not in an intellectual way, but as a deeply physical and emotional experience.
Otherwise we perpetuate the idea that one person isn’t enough to create change, and all we end up with is 6 billion people “not enough” to create change.
Being responsible for creating change is not a burden. It is waking up to the reality of community and interrelatedness that we’ve lost. The more we live in that truth, the more we regain our communion with each other, and the more we find ourselves.
Diving deep into the ocean of interdependence
I’ve known for a long time on an intellectual level that we are all interconnected, that we’re all one human body, even that we’re all one world or universe, undeniably interdependant.
But for most of my life, I’ve lived with this reality in only that way, as a completely mental concept. It’s easy to intellectualize, it’s another thing entirely to practice.
Last year I read a book that shook and woke me up to a deeper awareness of the reality of interdependence. My friend and coaching client Jerry Kolber, turned me on to the book One City: A Declaration of Interdependence by Ethan Nichtern. I was really moved not just by Ethan’s eloquence as a writer (in which he is stellar), but his grasp of the real, living, and incredibly practical truth of interdependence.
It gave me the shove I needed to practice living from a place of this knowledge, instead of just occasionally thinking about it as a nice concept.
I don’t recommend books often on this blog, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, but this is one I couldn’t feel right not speaking about. I think living from a place of interdependence is one, if not the most important things you can do with your life. Our communities, livelihood and planet depends on it.
This isn’t just an independent, counter-culture movement. This is about transforming our culture itself.
Remember: All of our actions are world-changing.
You can get One City here, and learn more about the work Jerry and Ethan are doing at The Interdependence Project.
[Disclosure: The link to One City is an affiliate link. Which means I will get an enormous 4% commission from Amazon for each sale. If you buy a bazillion copies, I may be able to buy a cup of coffee.]
photo courtesy of andyadontstop
Every action is world changing. I couldn’t agree with you more Jonathan!
A nice image to illustrate this: You walk through the forest and comeby a small pond. Looking at the mirror like surface you toss in a stone. Ripples go everywhere but soon tranquility returns.
Is it now the same pond? You might say it is, but truth is that you tossed a stone in and changed the pond for ever… Because of you others will now no longer see the pond you have seen. They will see the pond, with your stone on the bottom. Even though they do not know it’s there.
You know, so take care where you toss your stones. Even the tiniest pebble changes the world for ever.
Once I started waking up to the interdependence of life, I was struck with this great responsibility to live life mindfully and intentionally. At the same time, I realized that every single action that I take impacts the world in some shape or form.
Are the clothes that I am buying supporting poor working conditions? or are they supporting small factories that are committed to human rights and amazing work conditions?
Is the food that I am eating contributing to poor health or environmental destruction? or Is the food that I am eating supporting local farmers and healthy living?
Are the stores that I am shopping at driving down wages? Or Are the stores that I am shopping at paying workers well and contributing to the community?
Every decision we make can help to create a better world. The world is what we make it to be by the choices that we make.
Waking up to the interdependence of life is liberating and empowering. Can’t wait to check out the book, sounds amazing.
You are so very right: “It’s easy to intellectualize, it’s another thing entirely to practice.” Thanks for your own eloquence in sharing your insights into interdependence and thanks for your practice.
You don’t have the right to not care.
Are you serious? Of course I do have the right not to care, if I choose to. What people should realize is that they are affecting the world by not caring as well as by caring.
Otherwise a nice post.
We all have to be aware that even the smallest things we do can affect others in one way or another. Only in this awareness can we see the value of giving importance to others and how they feel.
I think our actions affect the world more or less directly. More directly our friends and local area, less directly those further away.
Thanks for writing about interdependence – I think we can get too obsessed with our individuality.
I also recently began to understand the deep interconnectedness that ties us all together, and it has begun to affect my worldview in tangible ways. Thanks for saying it so well. :)
This is my first visit to your blog; I think we will get along just fine. “All of our actions are world-changing.” Indeed, keep spreading the consciousness.
Great post. It can be overwhelming to realise this though. How do you make sure you are buying ethical products such as food, clothing, if you do not have the time and money to research or locate them.
I think a lot of people bury their head in the sand, including myself at times, because it seems like such a massive undertaking to “do the right thing”.
Yes! I have this argument, uh..debate, everytime someone tells me that being vegan won’t save the world & one person can’t make a difference. Even just a smile at the right time can change somebody else’s mindset for the day & who knows where that can lead?
“…All of our actions, big and small, impact our world…”
that’s so true, because it reminds you how much power and responsibility you actually have. I remind myself of that every single day, because I want my brand to represent eternal potential. Every ripple I make is an effect towards infinity :)
My last post is almost similar to yours, funny how synchronicity works !
I’m usually right there along with you on your posts but I disagree strongly with some of the points in this one.
Namely, I do have the right not to care. Hell, I’d say I have the responsibility not to care. There’s a difference between awareness and caring.
I wasn’t born indebted to this world. I don’t owe it anything. I don’t owe the environment anything. I don’t owe animals anything. I don’t owe humans anything. I do not have to care about them.
What higher power dictates I should feel oneness with the members of my species? And should that stop at humans, or extend to animals? And if so, does it apply to plants as well? How deeply should I be aware of my impact? Should I be researching every piece of clothing I buy in order to make sure it doesn’t come from a sweatshop? Or is it okay if I shop at Walmart once in a while? Should I be walking around looking at the sidewalk making sure I don’t step on ants?
My biggest problem with this post is that it lacks any reference to a measuring stick. Who is telling me I have “social responsibility”? You? God? A book? I want to know where this command is coming from.
I know this is making me sound like the most selfish person on the planet. I’m not, I promise. I recycle, I research where my food comes from, I’m a vegetarian, I try to be socially conscious, I try to be aware of what’s going on in the world, I try to help educate others, I volunteer my time, I donate my money, I campaign for human rights passionately. My entire life will in some way, shape, or form be dedicated to improving the quality of life for as many people as I can possibly impact in the most helpful, long-lasting way I can conceive of. That is my goal in life. I’d like us to all treat each other decently, and love each other. I’d like to end wars, dismantle apartheid, eradicate racism and sexism, close slaughterhouses, enable every single person to meet their basic needs and achieve spiritual fulfillment.
But I don’t owe anything to anyone. I have the right not to care. And I think that makes me better equipped, logically, to make the most difference- because I’m not half assing everything out of a vague sense of guilt. I choose to care. I want to care. Therefore I do care.
And I care of my own volition, which is much more compelling than someone elses’ argument that I have to because I owe you all something. I don’t. But I’ll give it anyway, because I want to. Because I love you.
I really enjoy reading your work by the way, and I’m constantly pointing family and friends to this blog. Thanks for making so much available to the public. You’re one of my favorites. :)
I love what you said, “We don’t have the right not to care.” We’re obligated to the change in this world and we should humble ourselves enough to reach out to others and show care towards one another.
Hmm, reminds me of a quote I’ve been meaning to write on
“When you understand the other, you’re ready to kill the other.”
Talking about how when you become so BIG to the point that you think your better than the other, then you do in fact ignore them, and in a sense kill them.
Great post.
Interesting thoughts.
Hi
Your blog is very difficult to read using Chrome on Windows XP
“All of our actions are world-changing” – I wrote it down and going to adopt it as my mantra. Thanks Jonathan!
Spot on Jonathan. I love the term ‘small-bigness’!
The word that comes to mind, Jonathan, is ‘inspiring’. It is difficult to imagine that my actions are world-changing, but I believe you are right. Because, who am I but just some vagabond traveling in Thailand right now?But I too make a difference. The world is connected in strange and interesting ways and I like trying to find these connections. We should all care about the world around us. Great post, keep them coming.
Nice post. I feel the same, my actions effect everything around me – making them world-changing. Too bad I’ve never really thought about it properly before, now I have – thanks.
It is a huge and horrible irony isn’t it that because we all think we’re such a small fragment that we cannot solve things like global warming alone. We affect people in our lives so profoundly just by being near them it would astound us if we knew.