Why Quitting Your Job Won’t Solve All Your Problems

Dude - "It’s exercising your power to be free right now that allows you to choose working for yourself."

YES.

It's the work, the process, that creates the right mindset for freedom. I''m going to firmly step out on that proverbial limb and say this:

No plan will ever truly prepare you for what's next.

I see so many responses to posts on living your passion or leaving your job focused on the need to be strategic. I'd advocate that you need to take action, immediately, no matter how small. Start something every day (by something I don't mean jumping to new ideas).

Forget the plans and just live. Doesn't mean you have to abdicate responsibility. Just means you have to keep moving.

ahhhhh - ye olde "arrival fallacy", thinking that getting from point A to B will make you happy (I used to see it with weight loss all the time when I was a nutritionist). Then when you get to B, you realized YOU, at your core, didn't necessarily change because your circumstances changed, and you start seeking out C, thinking THAT'S what will finally make you happy. Our brains really are funny aren't they!?

Hi Jonathan,

I too have struggled with the self-imposed confines that I believe a job brought onto me. I was at one job for just over 2 years, until I was made redundant, and I told myself that it was the job's fault for making me stressed and unhappy. Sure, it wasn't a challenging job, and I wasn't given much opportunity, but there lies the point - I wasn't GIVEN much opportunity. I made no attempt to seek it out myself.

Happiness is found in ourselves, but it's made a lot easier when we create favourable situations for ourselves. Situations that match our personalities and styles. I'm an introvert, so working in sales would never work out for me. Instead, the job I now have as a regulator is a much better fit, and I'm enjoying my time there. And because I'm enjoying myself, I am carving out more opportunities for myself.

Create an environment that works, but create it because it WILL work :-)

**So maybe it’s not the lack of limits that we’re seeking. Maybe we simply want to choose how we create our own limits, on our own terms.**This comment really spoke to me, and I intend to offer the right words of praise here for it: "Yea! I like this post lots. Like a kid who's in a toystore, we already know what we like and what it means is to be ourselves on ever deeper levels no matter who we become, cuz we're growing so fast, we gotta SPIRAL with ourselves, with our hearts, body and mind ------- together ------- with our higher self/soul, to catch up to each other."I found it interesting what was inspired was my own twist and understanding of what you wrote instead of how I usually talk. But that just means I'm growing. I found this place after all. Thanks Jason @ spiritsentient.com for introducing this website to me.

I, too, have felt trapped in jobs that have felt meaningless, but only lately have I become aware of the importance of choosing a job or lifestyle based on value rather than skills only.
There are many things I'm good at, and saying yes to new challenges and learning opportunities is one of them. This has made me a true job hopper. With me, the challenge has always been to find meaning in a position when I've acquired the skills needed. I've always looked at jobs -and life- as something to learn from. Having a job has never been my goal.
Learning has.
Then I visit Chrissy at eatyourcareer.com and is taken aback. She writes about VALUES, and I realize where my restless feeling come from. I AM in the wrong place! They say it's all in your head, but I beg to differ slightly re this. What if it's all in your heart?
If you're the kind that wants to make a difference in this world at some level, then get a job where you know you're part of just that, one that is in line with your values that you can put your heart into.

Like Jonathan emphasises in this great post, the solution is not always external. Then again, finding out what's on the inside can be about asking yourself the right questions. 'What next?' has been driving me crazy for decades! The past months I've pondered upon values, and found it more fruitful and constructive.

I quit law because it wasn't me. I quit marketing to take up teaching. I quit my job to stay home with my kids. I quit my job as a stay at home Mum to start blogging. All this time I have been writing. Quitting took place because it was the right choice at that time and although it significantly reduced my problems, never did it solve them completely. Challenges come with whatever you keep or whatever you quit. Thanks for a thought provoking post. :) Marya

Thankfully I read the post about embracing multipotentialities or I would be soo depressed right now. :)

Thanks for this post Jonathan - so what I needed to hear right now.
I am very guilty of falling into that trap - thinking something else is going to make me happy and bring me freedom. I have craved freedom my whole life and feel trapped in the life I have.
But what you and all the comments are saying is correct - quitting my job may make me happy and give me the feeling of freedom for a while. But what happens once that wears off? I'll probably go right back to being unhappy and miserable with the new challenges it brings.
So... need to make the change in mindset - although I find it so hard to do.
But I needed to hear this message - so thanks.

One things this made me think of is that I can re-frame my day job as 'working for myself' because I am using the resources I get from it to springboard my business. So really, as I work in my 9-5, it's still freeing because I am choosing to use those resources to continue toward my ultimate goals.

A few years ago I left full time employment to work for myself and yes, the freedom was liberating. I wish I had done it sooner but fear and procrastination saw me hang on until there was almost no choice.

Full time employment - the conventional day job - forces structure and routine upon our lives and when that goes, something is needs to replace it.

One important point I have since come to realise is that while quitting your job brings great freedom, you do have to change your thinking and work harder to unlock that potential. In many ways, it is much harder, but the emotional and financial rewards can be great. Does this separate the strong from the weak, the inspired from the uninspired?

As Jonathan said, we take our minds with us; working on this part of the equation is the enabler for happiness and success.

Great post, Jonathan, and SO important to be aware of! What's the old saying "wherever you go, there you are"? I'm lucky in that I really enjoy 90% (maybe even 95%) of my job; and I think that recognising that - valuing it and appreciating it - is key to making sure that when I do finally get to the point where I'm ready to launch my own business, I don't end up moving backwards instead of forwards.

I've been in corporate for many years and only over the last several have I also created a solo business. When I first started it I had the dream that I could take a leap of faith and quit my job, money would come and all would work out.However with two children and many responsibilities logic and reason took over and I carefully and strategically have plans in place.

I've watch many of my friends and classmates leave their jobs with the expectation that they would be happier pursuing their passion. The reality is that you trade some pros and cons and possibly create more stress in doing so. It takes passion, a plan,perseverance and faith among other things to make a business work but you definitely trade one set of issues for another. It saddens me that people don't realize that when they take the leap, often out of desperation. That's why I now teach others how to make the transition but to do it strategically.

Good stuff. Reminds me of a time my own mother insulted me! I was still working a corporate web development job, complaining over the phone, explaining that my job was the reason I hadn't called her in months. She went on to tell me she doubted I'd be happy anywhere, and I'd be crazy to leave a job that paid so well for "no good reason." Though I did eventually leave, I'm glad she gave me the kick in the pants to meditate on what it was ABOUT the job/role/atmosphere that made me so miserable. Otherwise, be it at another company, or our out on my own, history may just have repeated itself.

THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU, THANK-YOU!!! I really needed to hear this TODAY!!!! For the past year I've kept saying over and over again to myself( and those who will listen) that every satisfaction you are seeking out of life has to come from the INTERNAL....NOT THE EXTERNAL!! You are sooooo on point on this. Thanks Again!!!

I totally agree with your message here. I've changed jobs and relationships looking for something better for decades. Since I always brought the same "me" into the new situation, the situations tended to repeat themselves. After a while I started to see the patterns and got tired of repeating them. I recognized that I was the root of my problem, not the people and things around me.

Taking real responsibility for my life and not playing the victim by blaming people and situations for the things I didn't like was the turning point in my life. That was when I finally felt free and became happy with myself and my life, regardless of who I was with or what I was doing. I realized that being happy is a choice we make every day, every minute.

Resisting and complaining about my current situation was always a guarantee that things wouldn't change. I've been a control freak for most of my life and I'm finally seeing how much unhappiness this brings me. As soon as I let go and stop wishing things were different, when I'm OK with the way things are - that's when things start to change for the better. Basically, as soon as I choose to be happy, situations change for the better. My dreams are coming true because of the changes I've made in myself. And I'm free to make those changes all the time, regardless of my situation.

I absolutely love this topic and I agree completely. What I write about in my blog is loving and making the best of the work-life you have. There are plenty of blogs about getting the life you want, and many of them are great blogs. Still, I have found greater joy and happiness by working on myself, starting with what I have today.

I don't believe success, happiness and personal satisfaction are the result of our external circumstance- they are the result of our internal circumstance. When I grow and focus on living a positive, healthy life, my external situation changes to match the person I have become.

Sometimes it is necessary to recognize that a job or relationship isn't working and move on, but happiness isn't guaranteed just because a potentially negative element has been removed. I must choose to be happy, think happy thoughts, and live a happy life.

Thanks for this great post!

Chrysta

It's so true. Freedom seems to me to equals happiness and both are something we should have access to right now and just decide to be happy and free all the time and not when and if we achieve all our goals and desires. We still need goals, but we need to be happy with whatever we have right now. And If you're going to quite your job, you should have a plan.

Wow! What a post and something I've been struggling with stronger than ever recently. I've shipped out to Spain having quit my job in search of freedom and still find my self asking those very same questions you answer here. For me freedom comes with asking "what's next?" I might only get the feeling fleetingly but without asking that question I would definitely feel more chained.

This so resonates with me Jonathan. It's all to easy to think that the next job, or next lifestyle change, or next relationship will 'fix' us - and the truth is it won't. The only way to 'fix' ourselves (if indeed we are 'broken') is from the inside. Moving from a 9-5 to working for yourself may appear to be the answer but i think it's important to remember that we take ourselves with us - and it may be that all we do is swop the stress of the 9-5 for worry about the state of our own business etc. That's why the change internally and in our perception is so key. We can have all that we desire right here right now - if only we change our perception.

Steve

I quit my job 3 months ago now, primarily for health reasons, but also after seeing my father moved into a retirement home unable to enjoy his retirement due to age and health. I am a great believer in mini-retirements where you save up enough to take a year off from work to explore delayed goals and dreams. Why wait until you're too old?

To a certain extent, I do agree that our attitude that counts and not any given job situation. In the words of Victor Frankl, "The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances." But, why wait until we are too sick to enjoy life. I would rather have tried and failed than never have tried at all.

Fantastic post Jon, and I certainly understand from experience. I quit my job and dumped my girlfriend all in one night 7 years ago.

That being said, I`d like to clarify the 'good'/'bad' job-quitting. I see quitting a job, for most people... like this:

1. Your heart is telling you to quit your job.

1a. You quit it with a great, well-thought-out plan and conscious mindset, moving on to something far better.

1b. You quit it without a plan, but you`ve gotta follow your heart, and with step 1 done, you trust your intuition to guide you step 2, with as much ease as possible.

1c. You quit it against your intuition which is telling you to quit `soon` but not NOW.

1a = A smooth transition. (Recommended, but not everyone's path.)

1b = Usually bumpy transition, but well-worth it, and builds tremendous character + credibility. (Surprisingly good.)

1c = Anguish, trauma, and torment. Never go against your intuition :D (Umm... it works too, in a way.)

End result, job is quit, that phase of life is over, and the wide vista of life lies before you :)

Jonathan,

This is a really great way to get into the present. I think that when we think of leaving our jobs, it equates to freedom because in so many cases we definitely feel a sense of entrapment, loss of creativity, etc. (I'm sure you felt some of these as well).

The solution, in my mind, is being able to realize that leaving the job, the relationship, the work, etc., doesn't solve anything. The solving comes from within and it starts where ever you are right now - - in the present moment. Figuring out why you harbor those feelings and dealing with them, makes the process of working on your own terms (if that's your thing) a hell of a lot easier when you realize that it's not the means to the end...it's just a new journey with new circumstances.

Jonathon,

I totally understand the idea and myth of "if I get to x then all will be right with my life". And I have also left my full time role to pursue the course of a business that is all mine.

But through a very strong and level headed partner (friends and family) I've entered it with the most level headed approach that I believe I can given what I know right now.

Doing "your own thing" is exciting, but it's also a lot of responsibility and not to mention hard work. It's been rewarding so far and I whole-heartedly encourage anyone considering it to give it a real go; but I do give that encouragement along with the encouragement to do so with as open a mind as possible.

Take the rosey coloured glasses off, flesh out and test your idea with people close to you and go into it with your eyes wide open.

Thank you for a very honest, balanced article. It's one I'll be reading over and over.

It's true, the idea of starting your own business is wildly spread as the end all solution to any kind of dissatisfaction. Very little is said about the typical problems that people who actually do start their own businesses run into. Topics such as how you continue to evolve as an entrepreneur, how you handle the ebb and flow, how you create your own corporate culture or how you can continue to be passionate about something year in and year out.

I think a lot of people who really are looking for a sense of fulfillment and meaning, get stuck in the achievement trap. And it can take on so many different expressions. It can take on the shape of starting your own business or going in for a competitive sport or participating in a challenge. It can get really surreal, like being competetive about meditation or mindfulness or minimalism! In the end we can reach a point where we're looking for a goal almost for its own sake, and our sense of fulfillment decreases leaving room for a void of dissatisfaction. We need another hit, another high of achievement, but are never fully satisfied.

Another part of the puzzle is the world of social media and blogging, our digital social lives, which is training us to strive to win popularity contests. To get the most likes and shares, to be popular, to gain approval from outside. When maybe some of the things that bring us the greatest joy are private, or lose their magic when they are shared, or are so simple that they don't really come across as interesting in social media, and thus we lose the ability to find deeply meaningful building blocks in our daily life. We lose the important, intuitive time of germinating our seeds of dreams, our intuition and our craving to create, to love, to give, to communicate, to think, just for the joy it gives us. Growing as individuals and expecting nothing in return.

I, too, have fallen prey to the philosophy that the grass is greener on the other side. But if we're always living for that next best thing, always striving for the freedom to come, we can too easily miss enjoying the freedom we now have. We give our future too much control over us.

Romanticising things can be a real hurdle. When you convince yourself of this perfect idea of the future and that there is only one road to follow, it completely throws you off when things don't go exactly the way you planned.

Jonathan, I romanticized what "freedom" would be like too!

I had this romantic vision of what life would be like working from home--networking with people in my jammies because..hey..they'll NEVER know, going to bed/waking up whenever (or wherever), working with a pint of beer in one hand at a bar with wifi...yeah I thought I'd be living THE life.. but that's not exactly what happened lol.

Yes, these days, I do have more flexibility with my time but now as I look back, my belief of what “freedom” meant to me in the past, seemed so unrealistic. Don't get me wrong, I would never trade my job now for anything.. but it's not all cake and rainbows...I agree, freedom is a mindset:)

Jonathan,

So good. I've realized in the most recent of days that it is about mindset. Thanks for putting yourself out there.

Jon

Ah you are so right, Mister Mead! Thanks for that post. I also believe that a lot of people overestimate what quitting their job would do for them.. After the initial high, they might find themselves being miserable again, because they didn't actually solve their true problem.

Not too long ago I was miserable living in paradise working my dream job under water. So I went and looked for a better paradise with a better dream job. Same thing after a while. I didn't solve the root of my problem of feeling miserable just by changing my life situation!! It's a mindset.

I'm now taking a break from paradise for a year working in a job I don't enjoy, but I'm finally figuring out my stuff! And THAT feels really amazing. And I know when I leave again to paradise next year, I will actually be in paradise, within myself.

Love this Jonathan. In leaving my "job" many years ago, I found myself creating a business with "many bosses" and although I was able to make daily choices to create freedom within that business, what I learned was I could have done the very same thing, while working at my fun 'job'. I just didn't know it yet. So, stepping out and seeing ME creating the fun, and the mess was the best gift I could give myself. Its really about the journey, not the destination, isn't it? Loralee

Well said, Jonathan. I can't tell you how many people I have worked with who thought they would be escaping their problems by leaving their jobs. And this is especially true for people who have a lot of stress. I knew a guy who left his high powered law firm job to take a job in the government. And soon he was complaining that he was working the same hours as he did at his old for for a third of the pay.

I knew a woman who left her law firm to come to the consulting firm where I worked at the time. She worked twice the hours of the people around her, and she took it personally. She never seem to grasp how the issue was inside of her, not outside.

There as so many people who fantasize about life being different if only. And the truth for these people is that life on your own is just as hard or harder as it is within your current job. Reminds me of the old zen story about the river guide who greets two different people over the course of the day as he is bringing them to a new town. One complains that the people in his old town were nasty and judgmental. The other fondly recalls how wonderful and giving the folks in his town were. Both ask about the new town, and the guide tells each, "You'll find the people are much the same here."

We can be so much happier right now, no matter what our circumstances. We just have to make that choice, to see all the possibilities that are here rather than thinking they can only be somewhere else.

One of the most liberating moments in my life was the day I decided to stop having problems. Problems weighed me down, and hurt my feelings. Now, what I called problems, I call challenges, or "things," and they are much easier to handle. Although it is just a word, it is a powerful word with lots of baggage. Becoming aware of our own loaded terminology can go a long way to giving us that sense of freedom.